| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2009|12:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Momus - I want you, but I don't need you | ] |
I traveled places and had wonderful times and I got this photo taken of me with Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer
and it pretty much made my day/month/year.
Interestingly enough California was probably the lowlight of my trip. I don't mean that in a personally offending way to anyone I saw, but it was sort of awkward and uncomfortable and I basically don't feel compelled to go there any time soon really, which is actually pretty nice after 3 years of not living there...
Last night was another Marvelous Cabaret night, and it was slightly fantastic. I sang reasonably well and I'll post the video of it on Facebook eventually. Basically I post everything that is possibly theoretically maybe interesting or important on Facebook and Twitter, and I don't ever go into LJ until I suddenly remember it exists and then frantically try to update on old entries of people I like to stalk.
But, the honest truth is that there aren't so many of you left anymore, and it is quite likely that unlike how things were in the olden days, I probably will miss entries and events and activities and things that happened. And that might bother one or two of you, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm older and colder and wiser and I'd rather spend my time cuddling with the beautiful people that are geographically close by. I'll see if I can add the unlocked entries to my RSS Feed but the locked ones will most likely remain unread. Sorry, and good day to you all. |
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| schools update! |
[Apr. 23rd, 2009|12:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
my meeting went awesome! they were way nice to me! they were all like "oh it's okay don't worry you'll be fine" when like, i thought i was supposed to be saying that!!!
so now i am rejuvenated with studious energies. let's hope it means i pass this time. :) |
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| it seems like everyone is in san francisco having a slightly magical time |
[Apr. 22nd, 2009|12:05 pm] |
soon i will go to explain to important people why i did so poorly last semester and why i should get a semester or two to improve my grades and to figure out a Plan.
but i will have to pretend that i am so very motivated when secretly i feel like these are only the first failures in a long list of failures that i haven't gotten to yet.
my friend jonathan said some smart things about the whole thing. he also agreed with me that saying i want to leave will just make it easier for me to give up, but if i don't really want to give up i should stop saying it.
mostly i just talk about it too much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2009|11:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sore | ] |
today i:
1. found out i got a lower grade than i expected in a class i put a lot of effort into (and that my boyfriend got a higher grade)
2. found out i got a lower grade than i expected in a class that was really really easy
3. did not take the final i was supposed to take (in israel you get two chances, i skipped the first)
4. found out that if you get a low grade on your first final and retake it, even if your second final is a lower score it's still the score that counts (see #2) |
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| Music |
[Feb. 24th, 2009|09:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pavement - Spit on a Stranger | ] |
In the midst of stressing over passing (or not passing) my classes I've realized that the time has come for me to take my music more seriously. [I was going to write "take my music stuff more seriously", but if I'm going to take it seriously I should probably stop calling it "music stuff". I guess.]
Sunday night Shelly and I played two new songs of mine and even though we could have used more practice it came out awesome enough that a bunch of different people came up to me and asked me if we have shows and things. So, I guess it's about time we tried that.
I need to discuss this with Shelly properly, and obviously it will take a while to get there, but I'd like to touch up all the songs we've sortof kindof tried to work on together in the past, get this supercool drummer girl who once wanted to drum for us, maybe grab one of the many pianists I know, and basically, eventually, I'd like to have some shows.
This is the absolute worst time to try to do this now that I'm studying and I live far away from everything important but I think it will make me happier than anything. I've learned a lot from all my musician friends about the "right way" to do these things and I probably have enough friends in connected places to make it happen the way I want it. I do have a problem with being too harsh on myself and being generally of the flustered sort, but I think the Subkuch Milega Open Mic has raised my self-esteem enough that I might be able to have a real show without freaking out too much.
I'm looking way too far ahead, I know, I'm just so excited. I haven't felt much of anything positive in a while though, so I'm going to keep this excitement going for as long as I can. Wish me luck. |
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| it is the stress that is tearing my mind and body apart |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|04:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
I've been having awful dreams lately. I wouldn't say they're like nightmares exactly because I think after a nightmare you're supposed to wake up frightened. I wake up disturbed, and mostly very ashamed. Somehow my dreams always involve me doing something horrible to someone I really care about.
Now it's almost 4:30 in the morning and I've had a very strange sort of night that was half special and amazing and half destructive and suffocating. So I'm not too excited about the concept of climbing into bed now, to destroy whatever is left of my Open Mic high, only to discover what my next regrettable dream-crime will be.
When I am with Vitaly the dreams are usually not so bad. But tonight I am in Tel Aviv, and he is in Haifa, and by the time I get there tomorrow we will both be hitting ourselves on the head with large Calculus textbooks (or something equally pathetic.) Where is our time to relax and smile and appreciate all the wonderful things we have? |
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| Erections |
[Feb. 8th, 2009|11:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Nesher, IL | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears | ] |
Elections are on Tuesday! And I am still undecided! Shit!
Okay here's the dealio. Israelis are turning fascister and fascister by the day and are voting for dudes like Avigdor Lieberman (he wants to kick out all the Arab-Israelis who already have Israeli citizenship). But Bibi Netanyahu (who has already proven himself to be a crappy prime minister the last time he had the job) is the guy most likely to win the election as of right now. His biggest opposition is Tzipi Livni, chick who is Minister of Foreign Affairs and is head of the Kadima party, which is full of corrupt politicians I don't like.
Now the only real reason it's a close call and Netanyahu isn't winning by a landslide is that super right wing people are so sure he's going to win that they're happily voting for Lieberman and other extremist rightist parties. Whatever coalition government Netanyahu builds is going to be aggressive, more likely to create wars and (my favorite!) humanitarian crises, and push away any possibilities of peace, or of getting Gilad Schalit back (soldier who was kidnapped by Hamas in 2006). The only sure-fire way to stop a right wing government is if Tzipi Livni wins.
So that's where my dilemma comes in. Originally I was going to vote for the Green Movement - Meimad, who pretty much embody every single thing I ever wanted for the state of Israel in terms of social, economic, and religious issues, and that's hard to find in a party. The only problem is that these guys more likely than not aren't going to pass the election threshold. So what do I do? Small parties have surprised everyone in the past, passing the election threshold when nobody expected it, and election polls in Israel do have a tendency to be very bad. But is it a risk I'm willing to take? What's more important, voting for the party I believe in, or voting for the prime minister I want? (Interestingly enough, for a short while the system in Israel did allow for two votes, one for prime minister and one for the party of your choice, but alas, things change.) Should I vote for an entirely different leftist liberal party that will pass the election threshold but won't help Tzipi win? (My least favorite choice.)
Your thoughts, please. |
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| Neato |
[Feb. 5th, 2009|11:53 pm] |
Turns out the comment I posted on Nicholas Kristof's blog (I mentioned this in my last post) was edited and put in the "Comments of the Moment" section of the front page of his blog. I guess he/his people liked it? It makes me pretty happy to know he probably read it.
Also, Jeffrey was the only one to tell me what he thought about what I wrote and the situation. I'd really like to hear what the rest of you guys have to say. Elections are coming up, after all. |
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| Israeli politics |
[Feb. 3rd, 2009|10:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Death Cab For Cutie - Title and Registration | ] |
I wrote ( this ) here in response to this.
What do you guys think about it? |
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| LJ |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|09:28 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Haifa | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  caffinated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | College | ] |
I haven't been posting here much lately. I'm really busy with school right now and I seem to be having something that looks like a life outside of the internet (!!!). But to be honest, I probably wouldn't be posting as much even if I wasn't so busy. LJ has lost its charm in being "the place where all my friends are at" and now it's just "a place where some of my friends are at but if I want to I can keep up with them in other places".
When I have more time (I am procrastinating to a dangerous degree as I type this) I will probably be turning all or most of my entries private. My memory fails me and I have no idea how embarrassing or inappropriate some of my previous entries might be, and I'd prefer not to have them floating on the internet aimlessly. I will probably keep my LJ account to continue to read your journals, but it is possible that with time I will stop doing that as well.
In any case, not that there are a lot of people reading this journal, or at least not anybody who cares about me a shitload who doesn't also talk to me irl/through other internetworks of sorts, I just thought I'd give you a heads up. This post is exactly the kind of useless time consuming posting I'm trying to avoid, by the way. The sooner I completely stop posting the better... |
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| I guess LJ is good for something |
[Nov. 17th, 2008|01:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ladytron - Seventeen | ] |
I moved to Haifa one week ago, and I'm not the happiest I've been, for various reasons. But I have not been particularly unhappy, and I'm working on getting my life into some kind of order.
One big part of this order is open mic. Knowing how easy it is for me to become bored, distant, and internet-obsessed, I decided months ago that having a weekly social event (like an open mic night) will guarantee some level of socializing, even if I turn into some kind of magical super-study machine (unlikely) or spend my days aimlessly frustrated by inactivity (more likely than not). Frankie recommended a certain pub a while back and since then I had only heard good things about it. I gave myself a break last week because it was my first day, but today I dragged my roommates into town and went to check it out.
As expected, it is very different from Mike's Place and Subkuch Milega, two places that are so influenced by sheer foreign-ism (American; pseudo-Indian). Hamartef ("The Basement") is super Israeli, except for the fact that everyone covers songs in English. Right away it was clear that people don't play solos so much, don't play acoustic songs so much, hardly play anything original, really, and don't even play less known covers. Crowd-pleasing seemed to be more of a goal than I'd have liked, but I was determined to test myself and face my stage fear and go up and do my two songs vayehi ma ("whatever happens").
I played "Save Me". I think I had some off-key moments, but I felt okay, and people cheered, so it couldn't have been too awful. But then it turned out that I couldn't play another song after all (one of mine) and that was rather frustrating. What's the fun of going to an open mic that doesn't have to close at 12 if I can't have at least two songs? When I got off the stage one or two people said I sang nicely, and I tried thanking them instead of arguing. I sat down with Penina and Dovey and they complimented me as well. I started to think that hey, maybe being completely different didn't turn out so bad.
And then the pony-tailed dude turned from his table to mine and sat next to me. He started to explain to me that I need to pick other songs. And at first I tried to explain, politely, that I wasn't built for it. Then I tried to explain, nicely, that this was, more than anything, for myself, because I am a big fat nervous wreck of a scaredy cat. Then I almost started crying, because he wouldn't go away.
After he finally left came the incredibly cute boy I had half-talked to before I went up. He said it was nice, and it was nice to have a change, and that I shouldn't mind what Mr. Pony-Tail Man says. He told me how much he missed the open mics he went to in the U.S. where he could play whatever he wanted and didn't have to worry about making everyone happy. I told him there are places in Tel Aviv where I can play whatever I want and he grilled me for details.
If Mr. Cute Boy hadn't been so encouraging, I would probably be much more disappointed right now. But still, it's a rather big let down. I have no real interest in ruining people's fun and bumming these kids out. If it's not the right scene for it, I'm not going to be the one to drop my depressing song bombs on the place. The alternative is finding other songs to play, or other ways to play my songs (the better solution), but I don't think I have the energy, and the "unfairness" kills me a little bit. Is this a real "open" mic or is it "Bob Dylan Cover Night". I don't want drums and I don't want basses and electric guitars. I want me and Shelly (if she were only around) and I want to sound adorable and grow fuzzy kittens inside of everybody, if they agree to it first.
My roommates made it a fun evening (they might be fascists, but they're good kids), and I'd like to go again. It's a good pub and the people who go up seem to be pretty talented. Maybe I'll ask the nice old drummer guy to add some light drumming like he offered, and see if it comes out any better, or at least okay. But I'm not going to find what I was hoping for there. So much for that plan.
To summarize, today wasn't great. |
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| Japan, Technion, Sleep |
[Nov. 8th, 2008|05:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
By the way, Japan was great - read about it here. I am linking you to Jeffrey's post because I am totally not going to post about it! You're all (finally - yay for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) northwyrm!) on Facebook, so you can go look at my photos there.
Anyway, school starts tomorrow, and I am going to fail.
Why am I tired all the time?!?!? I sleep like heck of! :( |
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| google-translated e-mail from dude at rock show |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|05:42 am] |
Photo thank you!
When I go to israel Thanks!
I also came to Japan
I'm always waiting ^ ^
Japan was pretty sweet. Pictures are on Facebook.
It's almost 6 am, I'm not sure I can physically keep myself up to see the results of the election. Nah, I guess I will anyway. I'm too excited. |
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| Haifa and Japan and Subkuch Milega |
[Oct. 5th, 2008|05:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  purple | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dresden Dolls - Dirty Business | ] |
Classes at the Technion start November 9th, which means I'm going up to Haifa basically the day after I come back from Japan. I've had the apartment since the start of September but I've been at home all this time and up until this weekend I hadn't slept there at all. My Australian roommate (girl) invited me over to join her, her boyfriend, her brother, and her boyfriend's brother for my first Shabbat in Haifa. She also invited our other (hot) (boy) roommate but he was busy. The whole weekend was a blast, including midnight wanderings and aggressive political arguments and afternoon drinking games. And the best part of all is how goddamn sexy my apartment is. It's on the 7th floor, and I've got the room with the cross ventilating windows (Israel is hot), and a view of the sea and the Haifa bay from my bed. I think my favorite single moment from the entire weekend was opening my eyes slowly on Saturday with the view of the sea stretching out vertically (I was on my side.)
Now I'm busy suffering the lactard pains from too much Bailey's and nagging at myself to wake up and make some real Japlans. My trip to Japan with Jeffrey starts in one week exactly and I am not happy with the level of Japlanning I've done and there are plenty of other things I need to take care of before we go. I am really really excited though. :)
Tonight is my last Open Mic night at Subkuch Milega, the Indian restaurant-bar-guesthouse-place-thing I've been going to every week. I'm dressing up a little prettier than usual, and I got Frankie to accompany me on the piano. Hopefully it'll be as special as I'd like it to be, but there's never a guarantee with Subkuch Milega. Some nights just come out weird.
Shana tova. :) |
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| so i guess this is as good a time as any to show it off? |
[Sep. 22nd, 2008|09:01 pm] |
Instructions:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair - just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with the picture.
I got it on Thursday. I was going to wait until I had a better picture. This one is especially unimpressive... Oh well. :) |
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| Today I Biked to the Bakum |
[Sep. 22nd, 2008|11:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pleased | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kundra Magnus - Kol Kach Harbe Leilot | ] |
Some days everything is completely ordinary but something inside you makes you feel amazed and excited and full of wonder and joy for no explainable reason. There was nothing ordinary about yesterday or today, but I don't seem to be very excited at all.
Anyway. I finished my military service. I am a civilian again. |
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| Groundhog Day |
[Sep. 1st, 2008|03:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong | ] |
I just saw the movie Groundhog Day for the first time ever, and I'm now experiencing one of the strangest feelings I've ever had. As soon as I finished watching the movie I became completely convinced that my life or some part of it up until right now has been in some kind of loop that I have finally freed myself from.
I really wish I had someone I could explain this to properly, someone to share it with. The specifics of it are bizarre to an extraordinary degree...
The only real problem is that along with a sense of this new found freedom, I also have a sense of imminent terror and complete assurance that something horrible is about to happen. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2008|08:14 pm] |
Oh man. Clearly I've got to stop listening to the Dresden Dolls so much. First I had a dream about Jeffrey and his girfriend being in a band where she sang and rocked out on the piano and he played drums and did back up vocals. They were really awesome. Then I had a dream that all of my male friends had their penises cut off and switched around and all of my female friends had their vaginas (somehow?) cut off and switched around and because I am so dang manly I came out of the surgery with a penis. We were all pretty upset because it wasn't what we agreed to when we signed forms regarding some kind of experiment, but the people were like, "Oh, whatever! Just go get it switched back! No problem!" I woke up and groped my crotch just to make sure it was still okay.
I spent Shabbat reading a book I'm going to loosely translate as "Bagel Wisdom". I read another book by the same author just over six months ago, also on a Saturday, two days after Frankie told me he was thinking about breaking up, and two days before we actually did. He was the one who recommended the book to me, "The Hummus King and the Bathtub Queen". And I hoped the with the way the story started that it was some kind of positive sign about us, but the ending left little room to hope. The book I read this weekend was another crazy, witty, honest trip down vulgarity road, just like the last one, with some hilarities and some sad parts, I even cried a little. And this time too I'm pulling way too much meaning out of it, letting the story decide things for me, when it never pretended to be any sort of guide. This is why I shouldn't read.
I thought my friend was having a party tonight, but it turns out it's actually next weekend. I hate when these things happen... What will I do now? |
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